Saying Goodbye To Miyoshi

We all miss you very much.

Miyoshi in 2014 at her opening reception at Luis de Jesus, "Feel Better"

Her memorial was on 7/11, and we were asked to bring a succulent or cactus.
Here is my choice, nestled amidst other contributions:

I thought the shapes of the plant resembled her piece Rainbow of Tears:

[source: http://www.miyoshibarosh.com/projects_tapestries.html]

I added the border treatment to the container, which I finger-drew in Procreate:

I wore my golden clogs and the scarf that she gave me in 2010, when I started chemo treatments:

And I've begun a small collection of succulents for myself:

[Miyoshi's is in the upper left]

Linking up with
Patti's Visible Monday
Shelbee's Spread the Kindness
Catherine's #ShareAllLinkup

52 Pick-me-up: Grey / Release / Remission

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If there was a word that jumped out at me this week for 52 Pick-me-up, it had to be Remission. 
That word takes on a huge presence when one has had a brush with cancer.
Cancer patient, doctor, nurse, caregiver, friend -- it is the hope at the end of treatment.
I AM currently in Remission. 

Where was I six years ago? 

Pages from my journal, 5/25/10: 

I was WAITING! Waiting in lines, waiting for appointments, waiting to hear results -- lots and lots of waiting.
I took a sketchbook along to help pass the time. It was a godsend. 

What triggered this trip down memory lane?

The "grey item of clothing" search that lead me to this Stussy shirt:

It's still a cool print, and the fabric is a soft sanded cotton.
It's missing some buttons though, so onto Repair Mountain it goes.

This shirt became my post-surgery shirt (twice). Roomy, soft, and turned inside out, the pockets can hold drains!

I sketched and posted about it on 6/27/10.

Today, I put it together with some grey lounge pants and my trusty old clogs:

Reenactment of my Harbor/UCLA Hospital appointment look.

And that's my story of Grey / Release / Remission.

What's your's? Link and tell!

52 Pick-me-up: Apricot / Guilt / Awakening

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It's Apricot Week on 52 Pick-me-up.
I have this tunic found in the fix-it pile. What was the problem? Arm openings too small.
Nothing a little seam ripping couldn't fix.

Except that the right side looks wonky.

Urgh. I blame the lymphedema. Thanks cancer, such a lovely parting gift. Not.

I compared it to my Go Fish tunic, which fits nicely.

Hmmmm. Will have to ponder this.

Meanwhile, take a gander at the print!

Everyone that sees it says it reminds them of M.C. Escher.
Maybe I'll make some matching leggings!

^^ Look! It's Enid as a glamazon!

The Guilt  part of Tori's Workbook verbiage for this week involves the feeling that can accompany being "selfish" and saying "No" to a request from someone. And Awakening to the fact that one must take care of oneself first to be able to care for others. And that WAS a good gift from my cancer battle. The ability to say "No" and not feeling bad about saying so. Thanks cancer, I guess. Did you have to go and give me the lymphedema? Really? Sheesh.

Linking up with Patti's Visible Monday.

Wearing Apricot? Have any thoughts on Guilt or Awakening?
Link and tell!

SpyGirl Watches: "Cancer: The Emperor of All Maladies"

CREATED/ LINKS/

Exactly five years ago I finally went to the doctor about a lump in my right breast that had been growing for about a year. Yes I was in deep denial.

It was breast cancer -- stage IIIc, to be exact.
I had a mastectomy, chemo, and radiation.
I'm sharing this fact so that maybe you won't procrastinate as badly as I did.
[If you want to read about my cancer saga, it's over on a Caring Bridge blog here].
I'm fully recovered, by the way. Team Bray for the win!

There has been much more open discussion of cancer of late. I think that's beneficial to all that get touched by this disease, whether it's as the one with the malady or as that person's caretaker and/or loved one. Wendy Brandes wrote an excellent post here regarding Angela Jolie's cancer decisions, I highly suggest reading it.

PBS is airing a three part documentary based on the book by Siddhartha Mukherjee.
I enjoyed the book very much and I'm looking forward to seeing the documentary.
There was a great review of it in the Sunday LA Times here.

"Cancer: The Emperor of All Maladies" will be airing 9pm Monday 3/30 - Wednesday 4/1 (six hours over three nights). Check your local listing.

Pink Power!

PURCHASED/ PURLOINED/ GIFTED

There's a lot of pink going around this month.
Yep, it's breast cancer awareness time. Please go get that mammogram! Don't let fear allow you to procrastinate like it did me. I had Stage IIIc. And I'm still here to hypnotize you with clashing colors and patterns.  
So there, cancer. I won, you lost!

Here I am, gloating over my victory.

Still keeping with this week's 52 Pick-me-up theme of Accessories First,
I coordinated my outfit with some Nigerian plastic disc necklaces:

If you follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, or Flickr, you may have noticed these target-like images.
They're over there to the right on my sidebar in the Instagram feed as well.
The shot of my lap (2nd photo), filtered through the Tiny Planet App, became the above. I find it a fun way to present my outfits on social media. I usually make them during my lunch breaks at work, which is why they mostly appear on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. But this week I made one at my desk with some feline printouts. A new way to waste time at work! WooHoo!

I've joined Patti's Visible Monday.
Also playing with Jane's Shiny T Tuesday.

Meanwhile, you still have plenty of some time to add your link here if you've donned some accessories first.

A Breath of Fresh Air -- Fitness for Mind, Body, and Soul

Every Friday, I go up the hill to Clover Park to practice Qigong.
We are outdoors, under chinese elms, and can hear birds chirping and children playing as we do our series of movements.

"The word Qigong (Chi Kung) is made up of two Chinese words. Qi is pronounced chee and is usually translated to mean the life force or vital-energy that flows through all things in the universe. The second word, Gong, pronounced gung, means accomplishment, or skill that is cultivated through steady practice. Together, Qigong (Chi Kung) means cultivating energy, it is a system practiced for health maintenance, healing and increasing vitality." [source - National Qigong Association]

Our group is held under the auspices of The Cancer Support Community, Benjamin Center. We all have had a brush with cancer -- we are victors, caregivers or still in treatment. We practice two forms of Qigong. The first, liangong, was developed by Master Wen-Mei Wu. It's a series of 54 movement sets.

ISBN: 0865681996

The second, guo lin qi gong, is a walking practice. It combines breathing and moving energy with walking. More info here.

Here's a simple relaxation technique from Master Yu that is easy to do anytime:

[image from p124 of above book]

Remember to breathe deeply!
Have a great weekend!

I'll be linking up with Katy's Friend Beauty Friend Friday. This month's theme is Health and Fitness.
See what others have to say on the subject here.

2/4 is #WorldCancerDay

[source]

Today is World Cancer Day and I am here to dispel Myth 3: "Cancer is a death sentence."
You see, 6/2/2010 I was diagnosed with Stage IIIc breast cancer with a tumor bigger than a walnut.
It is now gone and I AM VERY MUCH ALIVE! 
So promising are all the gene-based protocols being developed.
My tumor was HER2+
Herceptin lowered my recurrence odds from 90% to 20%.


I found out about the World Cancer Day initiative through Fat Mum Slim's 365 project.
Chantelle is now designating one day a month to bringing awareness to a cause.
The prompt for today's photo is HOPE.

Here is my pictorial hope:

"Get those mammograms ladies!"

Please join in, whether you
• photograph your take on "hope" (use #fmsphotoaday),
• bust a cancer myth on twitter (use #worldcancerday),
• offer support to a victim or caregiver (there are many many ways beyond monetary),
or
• take a private moment to think of a loved one who has been affected by cancer
(I'm sure you know someone, if not yourself).

As Michael Sieverts, my Qi Gong teacher says during our practice:
"Cancer be gone. You are not wanted here."

Read more about my cancer battle on Caring Bridge.
Linking up with Katy's Friend Beauty Friend Friday. This month's theme is Health and Fitness.

Me and My Lymphedema

Maybe you've noticed the black glove I'm almost always wearing in my outfit posts: 

No, I haven't gone all Karl Lagerfeld or Madonna on you... 
I have to wear it because I have Lymphedema. 

Lymphedema is a "lovely parting gift" from my war with breast cancer. I won against the cancer, and have a few battle scars from the process. The lymphedema is the worst of them IMHO because its result is in my face, all the time I'm awake, there on my right hand that used to sport seven rings.

I painted this 7/4/11

What IS Lymphedema?
A medical description from the National Lymphedema Network: Lymphedema is an accumulation of lymphatic fluid in the interstitial tissue that causes swelling. In lay terms: Lymph is waste fluid that is normally processed by lymph nodes, located all over your body. All my underarm lymph nodes were removed during my mastectomy. That means I've got a bunch of fluid creeping down my arm and pooling in my arm and hand. It got so bad last April that I couldn't even grip a pencil (and I had to get about 4 drawings done for an art show! I was seriously freaking out). Special bonus: it's chronic, so I have it for life.

I finally got some treatment last August at Cedars Sinai (It took so long because I don't have health insurance and am part of the state BCCTP Medi-Cal program). Normal treatment is a six-week process of therapy, bandaging, and massage. I got the 10-appointments-over3-week funded version, which was fine. I learned how to wrap myself like a mummy and do self-massage to push to lymph to other places.

ARGH! Mummy hand!

I also wear a lymphedema sleeve and glove to keep the fluid from pooling in my hands

Here I am last July in my leopard sleeve.
Later on that night a dude thought it was a real tattoo!
Psyche!

Wearing my new "dragon tattoo" sleeve,
feeling very badass
(plus new INPINK* necklace!)

I get the cool sleeves from Lymphedivas. They have a fantastic array of prints. They help make this repulsive condition a bit easier on the eye. But I still look down at my arm and it looks like Tina Fey's Bossypants man arms:

A book that I found very helpful for this condition is Lymphedema: A Breast Cancer Patient's Guide to Prevention and Healing. If you've had any lymph node removal, I HIGHLY SUGGEST that you get this book and take every precautionary step to prevent lymphedema. Not everyone gets it (mine didn't appear until 10 months after surgery, 5 months after chemo and 3 months after radiation) - believe me, you want to avoid it if you can.

* the INPINK necklace was a TxSC freebie

Fridays are now officially Mydays

I changed my work schedule to be able to take a free
Qi Gong class offered by the Benjamin Center Cancer Support Community in west L.A.

sporting Jacks for agility

the class is held outdoors in Clover Park

I then went over to the Center for a special workshop
called "Paper and String" it involved drawing and live harp

the harpist, Andrea Puente
SHE IS AMAZING!
I also sketched her

Later in the afternoon,
I made tracks to my favorite beach in Playa del Rey
(the beach where I chased the moon for the eclipse)

love looking out at the ocean,
seeing the horizon,
inhaling fresh air,
hearing the waves and random birds

toes in the Pacific
COLD!
video here

If you or a loved one is dealing with cancer (either as the victim or as a caregiver) I HIGHLY recommend checking out the Cancer Support Community. It is a nation-wide organization. They provide free support in many different ways and styles. Health issues, group therapy, exercise programs, drum circles, financial advice... the list goes on and on.

Friend Friday: Hair Care - the long and the short of it

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Friend Friday. This is an opportunity for fashion and beauty bloggers to share their thoughts on a specific topic and read what others have to say on it. Here are my answers to this week's 5 questions on the subject of hair care.

Click here on Modly Chic to read all the responses. [linkup broken]

Before I go into my answers, I must tell you my hair saga. I had long hair ever since I convinced my mom that "I could take care of it" (I was perhaps seven). I NEVER would have voluntarily gone short, but now that I have, I don't think I'll go back to long.

What caused me to go short?

CANCER! -- I was diagnosed with stage IIIc breast cancer on June 2, 2010. (Ladies -- do NOT ignore any lumps!!!)
I was destined for the works: mastectomy, chemo + radiation. Since it was all going to fall out anyway, and I knew post-surgery long hair would be a pain to deal with, I went with my pal Dez to her salon in Whittier. (Before and After pix at top).
The next day I was surprised to discover my dad's hair on my head! Same cowlick and everything! It was surprisingly thick.

I started chemo on July 27. Twenty days later, my hair started feeling strangely "crunchy" and dead and on August 18, my boyfriend shaved it all off for me (he's an expert, as you can see)

if we had a band, we could call it Eight Eyes

It's growing back in kind of wavy, just like "they" said it would. It sort of looks like my mom's hair these days...

And now, my answers to the questions:

How often do you get your hair cut?
As often as I can. I've gone short with a vengeance.

Do you go to the same stylist each time, try someone new, go to the 
cheap hair cutting chains or live it up in a salon?
For my "first" cut (trim really) I drove 120 miles to my friend Leslie's. Good excuse to visit. And she's great at cutting short hair!

"first" hair cut: 4-1

For my next trim, I'm going to try a branch of Floyd's Barbershop. We'll see how that goes.

Do you color your hair? How often? What’s your natural color? 

Never ever colored or permed my hair. 100% virgin salt + pepper.

The one thing you always do to keep your hair looking great is: 

Wash it with Neutrogena anti-residue and condition with H2O Spa Sea Marine. Used these both when it was long too. I'm very particular about the scent of beauty products - the Neutrogena is very neutral, the H20 pleasant (did not like the performance of H20 shampoo). Finding the right conditioner was difficult when my hair was long - I'd find one and then it would get discontinued. The H20 worked well keeping it straight, relaxed, smooth and shiny. Now it's not such a big deal but I still like how it smells.

What hair trend do you love and wish you could rock?
I actually briefly attained the short hair look I wanted when my hair was growing back: short pixie ala Jean Seberg or Mia Farrow

photo source

My mom saw this photo and said I looked like a prisoner
ok, maybe it IS a tad short

I saw this look recently and it's my new hair goal:

photo source

(I know, it won't lay flat like this... but a gal can dream!)